Remembrance
by brindled soul
Summary: In part 1 Kerry attempts suicide, and Kim returns to Chicago
1. Default Chapter

Songs used in this fiction (In order) by Sarah McLachlan  
  
- Angel  
  
- Sweet Surrender  
  
- Trainwreck  
  
- I Will Remember You  
  
Spend all your time waiting  
  
For that second chance  
  
For a break that would make it okay  
  
There's always one reason  
  
To feel not good enough  
  
And it's hard at the end of the day  
  
I need some distraction  
  
Oh beautiful release  
  
Memory seeps from my veins  
  
Let me be empty  
  
And weightless and maybe  
  
I'll find some peace tonight  
  
In the arms of an angel  
  
Fly away from here  
  
From this dark cold hotel room  
  
And the endlessness that you fear  
  
You are pulled from the wreckage  
  
Of your silent reverie  
  
You're in the arms of the angel  
  
May you find some comfort there  
  
So tired of the straight line  
  
And everywhere you turn  
  
There are vultures and thieves at your back  
  
And the storm keeps on twisting  
  
You keep on building the lie  
  
That you make up for all that you lack  
  
It don't make no difference  
  
Escaping one last time  
  
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh  
  
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees  
  
In the arms of an angel  
  
Fly away from here  
  
From this dark cold hotel room  
  
And the endlessness that you fear  
  
You are pulled from the wreckage  
  
Of your silent reverie  
  
You're in the arms of the angel  
  
May you find some comfort there  
  
You're in the arms of the angel  
  
May you find some comfort here  
  
Kerry had swallowed pills. Not just a few, but too many for her to count. She had fallen to the floor, still clutching her picture of Kim, and was found by her neighbor who heard the glass, containing her vodka break. Luka has just seen Kerry come rolling in on a gurney and decides to call Kim, he felt like doing some good with Kerry's situation.  
  
Kim sat on her couch staring blankly at the TV screen. Kim loved TV, more since Kerry and she had ended. Just as she was nodding off, the phone rang. "Hello?" "Kim, its Luka. Kerry was just rolled in here on a gurney, she tried to kill herself. A picture of you was in her hand, I saw it. Can you come in? I think we might need your help." Kim sighed and said "Luka, Kerry left me for dead, I really don't care anymore. We aren't involved, at least not anymore." Luka couldn't believe his ears. "Kim if you don't get your ass down here right now I will drag it out of that apartment of yours whether you like it or not. I do know where you live." Luka shouted into the phone fuming. Not caring much about who heard him." "If it makes you happy, Luka."  
  
Kim got dressed and plopped herself into the seat of her car. As soon as she put it into gear the voice of Sarah McLachlan sweetly filled her ears.  
  
It doesn't mean much  
  
It doesn't mean anything at all  
  
The life I've left behind me  
  
Is a cold room  
  
I've crossed the last line  
  
From where I can't return  
  
Where every step I took in faith  
  
Betrayed me  
  
And led me from my home  
  
And sweet  
  
Sweet surrender  
  
Is all that I have to give  
  
You take me in  
  
No questions asked  
  
You strip away the ugliness  
  
That surrounds me  
  
Are you an angel  
  
Am I already that gone  
  
I only hope  
  
That I won't disappoint you  
  
When I'm down here  
  
On my knees  
  
And sweet  
  
Sweet  
  
Sweet surrender  
  
Is all that I have to give  
  
Sweet  
  
Sweet  
  
Sweet surrender  
  
Is all that I have to give  
  
And I don't understand  
  
By the touch of your hand  
  
I would be the one to fall  
  
I miss the little things  
  
Oh I miss everything  
  
It doesn't mean much  
  
It doesn't mean anything at all  
  
The life I left behind me  
  
Is a cold room  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories 


	2. Remembrance part 2

Luka was sitting at the admit desk waiting for Kim. He had gotten the news that Kerry was alive, but on a vent and sedated after a seizure. Kim son strolled in and laid eyes on Luka, immediately sowing him she was pissed. "Hi Kim" "What do you want from me Luka? She broke my heart, and now you want me to feel sorry for her." Kim said as she followed him to the doors of trauma two where Kerry lay. "Kim look at her." Kim didn't budge. "Damn it all Kim, look at her. She is lying there half dead. She tried to kill herself over you. Over you, not me, Not Romano, you! Just look at her Kim. Then look me in the eye and tell me that an act like that doesn't deserve a second chance, at the least." Luka said with his hand on Kim's arm. "She was trying to reach out to me, and I pushed her away. I just ignored her. I ignored everything, even the suicidal wording of her letter, what the hell have I done? Oh, god what did I do this time?" Kim said as she fell to the floor and cried. Her eyes, never leaving Kerry's body.  
  
After Kim had calmed Luka let her into trauma two. Kim sat there with Kerry's hand in hers. The tear of hers that had fallen there earlier, barely dried. The noise of the doors opening startled her, until she looked and saw that it was Abby. "Abby." Kim said softly. "Hey, how are you holding up?" Abby said, walking over to Weaver, and jotting down her vitals, they were normal, even after the tube being taken out. "I am a wreck Abby. This was never supposed to happen. It was supposed to be easy." "Kim, you are a train wreck. We all get that way sometimes. Kerry was bound to break eventually and you two breaking up was the last straw. Shit happens, Dr. Legs. You are talking to an expert in that area." Abby said as she walked out the doors and over to Luka who was absorbed in a few x-rays.  
  
Would your love in all its finery  
  
tear at the darkness all around me  
  
until I can feel again  
  
until I can breathe again  
  
Cause I'm a train wreck waiting to happen  
  
waiting for someone to come pick me up off the tracks  
  
a wild fire born of frustration  
  
born of the one love that gets me so high  
  
I've no fear at all  
  
Would your eyes like midnight fireflies  
  
light up the trenches where my heart lies  
  
until I can see again  
  
to find my way back again  
  
To fall so deep into you  
  
lose myself completely  
  
in your sweet embrace  
  
all my pains erased  
  
From your mouth its all that I wish  
  
the mercy of your lips just one kiss  
  
until I can breathe again  
  
so that I can sing again  
  
To fall so deep into you  
  
lose myself completely  
  
in your sweet embrace  
  
all my pains erased  
  
Kerry was coming out of her coma, not intentionally. She wanted to be dead. As her eyes fluttered open, she glanced up to see Kim, intently staring down at her, their hands still joined. "Kim?" Kerry questioned the reality of it all. "Yes babe, it's me." Kim said, stroking Kerry's cheek. "What are you doing here? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me." Kerry said. "Well, Luka forced me to come here, and then basically killed all of my defenses. Then I realized if we both still love each other, than why do we hate each other at the same time. I still love you Kerry, I always have. And knowing that you did this over me... killed me."  
  
Kerry was crying quite hard by now. "I am so sorry Kim. I don't know how many times I have to say it. I just needed more time. I wasn't ready for all this. I wanted things to calm down a bit, maybe me find a creative way to come out. I was just so confused Kim. I needed more time, I needed you to listen. "I know baby, I know. I'm sorry I didn't listen. I let the big monster of frustration get to me. I know I'm sorry too." Kim hugged Kerry in her arms and rocked her, whispered sweet nothings into her ear. She lulled Kerry by singing their favorite song.  
  
"I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories  
  
So afraid to love you more afraid to lose  
  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
  
Where once there was darkness, a deep and endless night  
  
You gave me everything you had oh you gave me life  
  
I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories"  
  
Falling asleep in Kim's arms... It wasn't a true first for Kerry, just the first time in a long time.  
  
The feeling of Kerry asleep in her arms... Kim was in heaven. A place she dreamt that she could return to. She was there, at last. The love of her life, there with her...  
  
I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories  
  
Remember the good times that we had  
  
Let them slip away from us when things got bad  
  
Clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun  
  
Want to feel your warmth upon me  
  
I want to be the one  
  
I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories  
  
I'm so tired that I can't sleep  
  
Standing on the edge of something much too deep  
  
It's funny how I feel so much yet cannot say a word  
  
We are screaming inside oh we can't be heard  
  
I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories  
  
So afraid to love you more afraid to lose  
  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
  
Where once there was darkness, a deep and endless night  
  
You gave me everything you had oh you gave me life  
  
I will remember you  
  
Will you remember me?  
  
Don't let your life pass you by  
  
Weep not for the memories 


End file.
